Facebook Wedding Invitations are a Bad Idea
I Will Never Understand
Facebook wedding invitations are a bad idea. I don’t think I will ever come to understand why people use social media as a platform for sending invitations. Maybe it’s because I have been a lifetime lover of greeting cards, stationery, and pretty paper. Maybe it’s because I remember obsessing nearly thirty years ago over making sure my own wedding invitations were absolutely perfect. I can vividly remember doodling designs when I should have been paying attention to other things. I needed to make sure the wording and the font and the design of the invitation set the stage, the mood, and the tone for the actual wedding event.
When I got married, there were specific “wedding invitation etiquette” rules to follow and follow them you must. The invitation served to do more than just inform people of the day and the time of the event. Conveniently, the way the bride-to-be addressed the outside envelope and the specific names she wrote on the inside envelope spoke volumes to immediately let people know who was, and more importantly who was NOT, invited.
The actual invitation I mailed to my grandmother in 1987. It was found in a box of her belongings in my uncle’s basement.
Facebook Invitations Have Their Place
In today’s world, there are a plethora of social media sites that people use to invite people to events. Whether it’s a “Girl’s Night Out,” a “Catalog Party,” or a simple birthday celebration, social media invitations DO have their place. I will be the first to admit that Facebook invitations in particular get the job done for casual events that do not require months of planning. Some events are meant to be open-house-come-when-you-want parties or social gatherings where a person’s attendance is desired but not necessary. I use evites to invite people to my card-making classes and everything from the list of the attendees to the R.S.V.P.s runs smoothly.
It’s Your Wedding, For Heaven’s Sake!
But let’s be real and talk about what goes into executing a wedding. Nothing about the process is inexpensive. People spend months of planning and thousands of dollars on the venue, the dress, and all the little details. Why do they then resort to Facebook to invite people to attend the most important event of their lives? My prediction is they want to save a couple of hundred bucks on postage. If that’s the case, I say cut back on the Pinterest crafts and spring for the stamps. Future brides, listen up! Make “postage” a line-item on your wedding budget. Please!
Here are 3 reasons why!
A Facebook invitation is too informal
Even if you are planning a casual wedding barefoot on the beach, you should not take the same approach with your invitation. The best piece of advice I ever received was when someone told me that “you never get a second chance to make a first impression.” Your wedding celebration actually begins when the invitations are opened. They set the stage for what’s to come. When you don’t take the time to mail formal invitations, you are telling your potential guests that you are too cheap to send an invitation in the mail. Whatever reason you give to try to justify saving money by saving on postage does not work. If money is a concern, cut back on something that no one will notice. You don’t HAVE to make that 50th Pinterest craft. No, really, you don’t. How high (or low) of a bar are you setting when you think your wedding invitation is only worthy of a Facebook post? Do you really expect people to take you seriously? It’s just too informal and extremely impersonal.
Loss of Control
Once you put something on social media, you have no control over what happens next. This fact isn’t just true for bad selfies. When you post your wedding invitation details to a Facebook events page, even if the event is private or closed or locked down like a prison cell in Alcatraz, in reality you have absolutely no control over who sees the details. What if someone shares the invitation with others who aren’t invited? How can the bride make it known who exactly is invited? Kids, no kids? Friends? Plus-ones? Your wedding is not a bar-b-que. Even if it is a bar-b-que, do you want everyone and their brother to attend? When you mail an invitation, the recipient knows immediately who is and isn’t invited simply by looking to whom the invitation is addressed.
Not Everyone Has a Facebook Account
Shocking, I know, but it’s true. There are several people who haven’t had a drink of the Facebook Kool-Aid. Heck, my Aunt Rosie doesn’t even have a microwave, let alone a computer or a smart phone. There is no way she would ever receive the invitation if it weren’t mailed. If you have to make an exception to mail an invitation to Aunt Rosie, just mail one to everyone on your list. It really is a no-brainer. Invitations don’t have to cause you stress. They are one of the easiest and least expensive parts of wedding planning. They don’t have to be fancy or expensive, but they should be addressed to the specific invitees, leave no room for question as to who is and isn’t invited, and then put in the mail.
We’ll talk about the R.S.V.P. cards next time. They deserve a post unto themselves.
